Testimonials

Reprinted from 'The Creative Review', with permission, by Donald B. Cheke (www.textualcreations.ca)

Obesity, what an issue it has become for a whole society.

I remember fifteen years ago thinking about how nice it would be to have a nice clean office job. At the time it seemed an innocent enough dream. I had been working hard in the construction industry for many years and was so fed up with coming home at the end of each workday tired and dirty. Oh how I longed for a less physically taxing position. That day came suddenly out of the blue in October 1992 when I had a serious accident on the job and was forced to leave the industry.

After a period of convalescence I found myself back in the work world — in a nice clean office nonetheless. Here I have sat, working as hard as can be day after day, year after year getting visibly fatter with each passing day.

Mine is truly not a isolated story. All one need do is look around and take note at the size people have become and it will be readily apparent that something has happened in our world and many of us have not managed to make the adjustment.

Although changes is society can be blamed to a great degree the problem is still ours, personally, to deal with. One of the changes that I refer to is the way industry has progressed over the years. Face it, many of our jobs are so much less physically intensive as maybe some jobs were in the past. Heck, we don't even swing a hammer any longer -- we pull the trigger on an automatic nail gun. Then there is the reckless 'food' production that is coupled with intensive marketing. Believe it or not our health is not necessarily the main focus of the junk food industry or the industrial psychologists that work for the marketing companies that promote these products.

Be that as it may, we are not going to change society overnight and, as I said above, the problem is ours personally to deal with. At this point we must face the fact that many of us eat far more on a daily basis than is required for healthy body function.

There are many mental and emotional issues associated with obesity and although I have not suffered a whole host of them as others have I have definitely had my share.

I, like many others, grew up in a home where some of the old standard food myths (spoken and unspoken) were maintained. One was, 'We must eat everything in front of us'. I was taught that we must not waste food - that it is better to eat it than throw it away. Identifying that I was full was not really part of my picture.

I learned very early that food was love and that much comfort was found in a nice piece of chocolate cake or cheese cake, or several helpings of mom's Hungarian chicken with homemade noodles. Somewhere in there I also developed the scarcity mentality. That is, I never really fully appreciated that food was plentiful and I wouldn't starve -- that I could eat again when I was hungry.

Over the years I have looked at myself in the mirror with a sense of disgust, hating what I saw reflected back to me. On two previous occasions I attempted to make some changes with how I looked and felt and although I had some success for a while I ended up gaining much of my weight back. On my first goaround, for a period of about two years, I went to the gym three full mornings a week and worked out on a variety of exercise machines. I actually enjoyed how I felt and I eventually began to like what I saw in the mirror. The good feeling lasted until I went from losing weight to gaining it instead, in muscle mass. It didn't matter that the gain was a positive sign, it was the number that seemed to matter. For a while after that only my stubbornness kept me going. I still resented the fact that I felt forced to do this exercise regime and I continued to feel sorry for myself. The question, 'Why don't our jobs provide us with all the exercise we need' reverberated through my mind on a daily basis. Eventually some life changes occurred and the time I had set aside for the gym got whittled away and I never saw the gym again.

Of course it didn't take long for me to put back on all the weight , along with some extra, that I had previously lost and the old feelings of self-hate and self-pity came home to roost - so it seemed.

After suffering in the same manner for a couple more years I once again felt a desperate need to get a grip on my weight problem. This time I purchased a treadmill and made great strides at keeping a regular power walking routine maintained. At the same time, I changed my eating habits drastically by cutting out all junk food and cutting down on portion sizes. This worked well for a while and I actually lost seventy- five pounds. Somewhere along the line my drive diminished and one piece of cheesecake lead to another and then another and I was lost.

I gave up for a long time and just lived in denial. I avoided the mirrors in the house and reflections in storefront windows. I didn't allow family to take my picture for any reason and I basked in the comfort of my daily milkshakes.

After my two failed attempts to reduce I never thought I would ever be able to face this demon again -- facing the required effort involved just seemed too much.

On August 3rd of this year I was running errands with my wife and I came to the realization that I could no longer go on as I was. My wife had just recently been brought back from the dead after a massive heart attack and I simply could not afford to keel over from a heart attack myself. I could not leave her and our daughter to fend for themselves after such a horrific trauma. At that point I said to my wife that we were going to make another stop and that I hoped she would come with me to help me past my fears. I had heard of a place called Gail's Weight Loss Centre, here in Saskatoon, and decided that I would start there. I wasn't able to manage this on my own and I hoped desperately that the workers there could help get me out from under my own stifling weight.

It was a wise and healthy decision to make the stop. I was greeted by a welcoming gal named Tony. Although she was a bit concerned about my aversion to vegetables she made me feel that I had come to the right place and that I could gain my life and its health back over time.

The approach at Gail's is very straight forward - follow the Canada Food Guide and learn to eat proper portions and varieties. Tony set up a meal and snack plan that I could follow, listing acceptable portion sizes of the various food groups with a list of food item options. My aversion to vegetables was addressed by substituting 'veggie' juice. This was something that I was able to get used to in short order.

The program does not offer miracles, although finding myself at Gail's and succeeding thus far feels miracle enough. But do not be fooled, it requires a willingness and a commitment on my part to do what it takes. Although it does take effort, I do not feel that I am suffering. The meal and snack sizes are very adequate and there are recipes available for certain items that one just can't live without - such as chocolate chip cookies. In the right serving size they can satisfy those sweet tooth needs without guilt or added weight.

Since August 3, 2006, at the time this article was written, I have lost 48 pounds. I still want to loose about 70 pounds more and I feel positive that I will be able to do so. I try very hard not to live for the day 'when' but I try instead to live one day at a time, knowing that I can do this today. With that way of thinking the rest will take care of itself as the days pass. At certain times I find comfort in some of the slogans that they teach at Gail's as they help me past the tougher situations. One such slogan is, 'Nothing tastes better than thin feels' . How true that is.

I know that I am just at the beginning of this new journey but I feel so much better about it now that I am approaching this often overwhelming issue in a educated manner. I actually feel like I am taming the beast but I am not naive enough to think that the beast will not put up a struggle.

I will probably always struggle to some degree with blaming society, but I will not let that be an excuse for not taking care of my needs. I will likely always need to remind myself that I am now eating to live and not living to eat. That doesn't mean that I cannot enjoy what I eat, because I can and I do. In fact, now that I have embarked on this journey nothing has ever tasted so good. I guess I am no longer stuffed to the state of numbness.

At this point I feel much healthier and alive. I am very proud of myself and that is encouragement enough to keep heading down this most beautiful path.